Letra The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions de Adam Sandler original

'And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.'

Dean:> 'Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
On your upcoming graduation and I understand
You are interested in matriculating here in the fall.'

Buffoon:> 'I got a snake, man!'

Dean:> 'Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.
Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.'

Buffoon:> 'One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!
It was all fucked up!'

Dean:> 'I'm sure it was.
Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
And pets here on campus.'

Buffoon:> 'Fuckin' Shit!'

Dean:> 'Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy.
So tell me a little bit more about your background.'

Buffoon:> 'My father's a fucking asshole, man!'

Dean:> 'Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.'

Buffoon:> 'My mother's a piece of shit too!'

Dean:> 'Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility
Over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed
And ready to learn.'

Buffoon:> 'My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!
She had her head way up her ass!'

Dean:> 'Well the quality of the faculty at a University
Such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.'

Buffoon:> 'Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!'

Dean:> 'Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success.'

Buffoon:> 'I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!'

Dean:> 'Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,
Never a pleasurable experience.
So have you given any thought to your choice of major?'

Buffoon:> 'I've got a big fucking boner right now.'

Dean:> 'I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods
Of nervous tension. I do not take offense.'

Buffoon:> 'One time I ate my neighbors shit!'

Dean:> 'That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.
We'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.'

Buffoon:> 'I bet you got really hairy balls.'

Dean:> 'Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye.'