Letra The President's Penis Is Missing de Drive-by Truckers original

(NEWS FLASH!!!)

(scene: the press corps have descended upon the White House, a spokesperson
Begins to speak:)

“They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill
They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill
We called every scholar, reporter, and genius
Has anyone seen the President’s penis?�

“It ain’t in the Congress or Judiciary
It ain’t in the Smithsonian or that big ole library
An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus
Has anyone seen the President’s penis?�

(now the entire press corp. erupts in song:)
“THE PRESIDENT’S PENIS IS MISSING OLE’!!!
WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW, EVERY NIGHT EVERYDAY
LORD, WON’T YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENT’S PENIS?�

(at this point, legendary news man Walter Cronkite returns from the moon to
Add his commentary:)
“Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
In the 80’s we elected one missing his brain
George Washington caught a cold he couldn’t explain
And we all know the truth about Thomas Jefferson’s name�

(suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an
Orson Welles type voice:)
“Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn’t no square
With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair
And all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didn’t care
And John Kennedy’s penis was seen everywhere�

(once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:)
“THE PRESIDENT’S PENIS IS MISSING OLE’!!!
WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW EVERY NIGHT EVERY DAY
LORD WON’T YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENT’S PENIS?�

(the scene shifts to Sen. John Glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in space:)
“Them outer space people would laugh if they’d seen us
All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus
Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
But we’re more concerned with the President’s penis�

THE END?
Lyrics by Patterson Hood