Letra If de Insane Clown Posse original

If I was your tv I'd be like 'Look at me'
If I was a shooting star I'd be like 'Peace!'
If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like 'Hell naw!'
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like 'Awwww...'
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like 'fuck'
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like 'Sup?'
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like 'man this is bullshit'
If I was the tires on your car I'd be like 'NEEEAAAWWW'
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like 'Aww fuck'
If I was a balloon I'd be like 'pap'
If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say 'the point 103'
If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like 'umm...ok'
If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like 'fuck us! And
I won't read this, even us motherfucker!'
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like 'THONNNKK!!'
If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like 'Man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?'
If I was a chair I'd be like 'Sit here'
If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like 'Shhh, quietly'
If I was a price tag I'd be like 'You ain't buying me'
If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like records scratch>
If I was Jam Master J I'd be like records scratch>
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like static>
'Tune that motherfucker in'
If I was Barry White I'd be like 'What up y'all?'
If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like 'Boing'
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like '.....'
If I was a raindrop I'd just be like 'drip'
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say 'CHOP!'

Chorus>
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but you're killing me
If I was, if I was. but you're killing me

If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and
ocean of juggalos
If I was Andre The Giant 'This is how I'd be talking'
If I was Father MC I'd be like 'Now what happened?'
If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt
I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like 'What?'
If I was a pilot I'd be like 'This is air traffic control'
If I was John Denver I'd be like 'Nooooooo!!!!'
If I was a switch I'd be like 'Flick me, yoo-hoo'
If I was a London cop car I'd be like 'Wee-oop wee-oop'
If I was Chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade
If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like 'Fuck y'all. I'm still paid'
If I was a stop sign I'd just be like 'Stop'
If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop
Chorus}